Firebird
by headoverhook
Summary: Collection of missing scenes for 5B.
1. 5x11 - Swan Song

**While I'm working on my two new multichapter projects in the 'background' I decided to give myself a break with this little idea. It's gonna be a companion piece to the show, so to speak. Mostly missing scenes I need to write, I guess. I'm not sure where exactly this is going, but I intend to write one 'chapter' for each episode at least.**

 **Anyways … I hope you enjoy the ride! :-)**

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 **5x11 – Swan Song**

The darkness inside of her was gone. Completely.

Killian had saved her. Saved all of them. Or so they'd thought.

Rage still flickered up inside her every time she let herself think about the fact that they hadn't defeated the Dark One. All the pain had been for nothing. His sacrifice had been in vain. And she would _not_ accept his death to be meaningless.

The hole he'd left in her heart was filled by a burning fire now. She didn't let herself get swept back into the cloud of pain and loss she'd felt hours after his death. She'd sent everyone away, couldn't bear the looks of pity, the pain of loss she could see in all the people surrounding her. Killian did have a place in all their hearts in some way, and for just a few hours she'd wanted to be left alone with the pain of his loss, wanted to mourn him without having to put on a brave face, without picking herself up and putting the pieces back together. Just a few hours in which she could let herself think of him, in which she didn't fight back the hollow feeling consuming her heart. His ring had left an imprint in the palm of her hand; she'd clutched it with a desperation that bordered on insane. A tiny spark insight of her flaming to life with the hope that holding on to the ring would mean she didn't have to let go of him just yet. Just for a few hours longer.

And then the most horrible thing had happened. She'd heard the call of the dagger, and fury had shoved the pain into the background.

Killian had died to destroy the darkness once and for all, but due to Gold's trickery and his unwillingness to live a normal life, the Dark One wasn't dead yet. In light of these new circumstances she refused to give Killian up without a fight. She didn't leave him a choice when she made him the Dark One, and he probably might not appreciate it either that they were rushing to his rescue now, putting them all in danger to bring him back from the dead. She had been determined to let him go this time, to honor his sacrifice, even if it meant she had to close off her heart once again so that the pain of losing him wouldn't destroy her. But Gold's betrayal had changed that decision.

She would _not_ let Killian suffer in the Underworld for nothing. She would find a way to bring him back. She would _not_ let the darkness win in the end.

She was the Savior and it was about time that she fought for her own happy ending.


	2. 5x12 - Souls of the Departed

**Just to clear something up … I already knew that Henry would call the operation '** _Firebird'_ **before the ep. So the title of this story didn't come out of my brain. :-)**

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 **5x12 – Souls of the Departed**

She'd hoped they didn't need to sleep in the Underworld, that they could just keep going. But she had to admit defeat after they'd all met at the clock tower. Everyone was exhausted and they'd found an abandoned building on the outskirts of town where they'd settled in for the night.

She knew she needed sleep. She knew she needed to be rested to find Killian, knew she needed all her strength. But every time she closed her eyes his image flickered over her closed eyelids, and every time she noticed more details. The blood on his clothes and skin, the vacant look in his eyes.

He was suffering and he didn't know they were here to save him. To bring him back.

Biting her tongue to keep the sobs inside she opened her eyes again, letting her gaze roam over the persons in the room. They'd all stayed with her to save her love, and through the pain she also felt the gratitude over her family being with her. A few years back she had no one, and now she had parents, her son and very good friends. And soon the man she loved would be back by her side, too.

She'd turn over every stone in this godforsaken place until she found him.

Closing her fingers around the ring he'd given her she closed her eyes, forcing herself to relax. She might not be able to sleep, knowing Killian was out there somewhere, suffering. But she could still rest her body as much as possible.

And tomorrow they would find him. Tomorrow she would go out there and get her man back.


	3. 5x13 - Labor of Love

**5x13 – Labor of Love**

First he saw nothing and then suddenly there were the eyes, red glowing eyes. Three pair of them. He had no idea what he could use to defeat the hellhound; his hook would probably not take him very far with the three-headed monster. But he had to try.

Emma was here. She was searching for him.

He could feel her now. The flame of their love flickering bright and hot inside his chest. He had to hold on to that. Their love would make him strong enough to come out of this battle alive.

A growl rumbled through the hallway and he concentrated his one functioning eye on the beast, lifting his hooked arm to do everything in his power to protect himself.

And then Cerberus launched.

-/-

Her heart seemed to pick up speed with each second that ticked by without a hint where Killian might be. They were running out of time. She could feel it. He was suffering, and she needed to find him.

But the trails were all cold; Henry was right. They were running around in circles. It was a good idea to send Robin and Henry for the maps, if they excited. But she wouldn't stop looking for a sign of Killian until they did come back with them. She couldn't. She couldn't just sit around and wait, it'd drive her insane to do nothing while she knew Killian was hurting. Badly.

And then her eyes fell on the red smears on the leaves a few feet away and a surge of hope rushed through her, smothered by finding a woman at the end of the trail not Killian. But at least now they had somewhere to start, Megara could lead them to the underground prison in which Killian was held, and her mother knew of someone down here who could help them defeat the three-headed beast guarding him. Figures that her mother was friends with a demigod when she was a teenager, another one of those facts that made Emma want to shake her head. There were still times that she couldn't quite grasp that the fairy tales were real and that she was actually a part of them.

But she should be grateful for that. Because if she hadn't been the product of True Love, if she hadn't been the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming, she would have never met Hook, and without her magic she might have never been able to go to the Underworld and bring him back.

And she would bring him back. She would not leave this place without him.

-/-

He didn't think that his body could hurt even worse, but the claw marks that the beast left behind burned like fire. He wouldn't be surprised if they'd been coated with a slow-working poison, something that would make him suffer even more.

He'd been certain that the beast would finish him off, or at least tear some limbs off his body, but before it could actually do him real harm he'd heard a whistle and the monster backed off. He'd been picked off the floor and dragged into the shadows the beast had come from – he'd been too weak to try to escape - until they'd entered a big cave and he'd been dropped to the ground.

Pure hate sizzled through him as he looked up and saw Hades standing in front of him, if he'd just be a little stronger he would bury his hook in the man's body, even if it'd probably not affect him in the slightest.

But Emma was out there searching for him, and he wouldn't stop fighting with every fiber of his being - no matter how much he was hurting - until she was able to find him.

-/-

She would not be afraid of Hades, she wouldn't let herself even waver for one millisecond. She didn't give a fuck that the Lord of the Underworld was standing before her, threatening her family. He had Killian, he was torturing him and if she had a way to kill Hades she would, but she didn't think there was a way. She had to trick him somehow into revealing Killian's location.

Though when Hades held up Killian's bloody hook her heart did skip a beat and her fingers itched to wrap themselves around Hades's throat and choke the life out of him. She could hardly keep herself back, and when Hades disappeared in a cloud of blue smoke his words were still ringing in her ears.

 _It's not what I've already done you should worry about now. It's what I'm about to do._

They needed to find Killian as fast as possible, before Hades could do something to him that he might never come back from.

-/-

This had to be a bloody trick, another of Hades's mind games. He couldn't expect from him that he'd decide who stayed in the Underworld forever. Because there was nothing to decide. He wouldn't carve even one name into the stones. He wouldn't succumb to the God's bloody games.

His body might be bloodied and bruised, every single bone might scream with agony, but his mind was still whole, and he'd make bloody sure that Hades wouldn't break it.

Emma would find him. He knew she would. He just hoped it wouldn't be too late.


	4. 5x14 - The Devil's Due

**5x14 – The Devil's Due**

The silence was pressing down on him from all sides; he could only hear the mumbling on the porch as Emma said goodbye to Regina, Robin and Henry. After a few minutes of discussion they'd settled on resting up for a few hours before deciding what to do next, and he'd seen the look Emma had shared with her mother and Regina. She wanted to be alone with him, and the other women understood her instantly.

It wasn't as if he didn't want that, too. Being alone with her. But he was just so tired. Tired of fighting. Tired of being a hero. He hadn't had a sliver of hope left that anything could save him from his future in the Underworld; he'd been prepared to suffer for centuries to come, and he'd been okay with that.

It had been his sacrifice. To save Emma. To save everyone.

Turned out it had been for naught. The crocodile had found a way to keep the darkness alive, to take it back. Of course Emma couldn't let that stand, of course she came down here to save him, to bring him back.

And he was glad to see her. Truly. But … he hadn't been lying. Nobody should be down here. Nobody. Especially not the people he loved.

Milah had been down here, and only thinking her name made his heart ache with grief and a sharp flare of anger. She shouldn't have been down here. She should have gone to a better place. He'd thought he'd gone to that better place. But apparently she'd had unfinished business down here. He just wished that he could have seen her, just for a few precious moments. That he could have said that goodbye he hadn't had the chance to give all those years ago. And now she was truly lost forever. He wouldn't get another chance.

"I'm sorry. About Milah. That you couldn't see her one more time, that you couldn't help her move on."

The couch dipped down beside him as Emma sat down, her hand coming to rest on his knee, the contact causing tears prick the back of his eyes. He didn't think he would ever touch her again, but now she was here, by his side. Strong and compassionate.

"It's ..." He wanted to tell her that it was okay, that he'd moved on from Milah when he met her, but the word didn't come.

"I know you loved her very deeply, Killian." A lump formed in his throat and he couldn't met her gaze, afraid he might break down after all. "I understand. She was a very fiery lass."

He chuckled at her attempt to imitate his accent, couldn't help it. "Aye, that she was."

"Can I ..." He winced slightly as he titled his body to face her, seeing her hand hovering over his injured eye. "Can I heal you now, please."

He'd refused so far, fearing that using her magic down here would have dire consequences, but he could see it in her eyes how much strain it put on here to see him like this and he nodded. "Heal away, love."

It took her a few minutes to heal all his wounds, and seeing her hands glow with magic as the wounds sealed shut made him suddenly think of another person he loved deeply. His brother. Liam. He jolted upright as he realized that there might be a possibility that his older brother was here, too.

"What is it?" Emma asked, her smile faltering as she eyed him while her shoulders already straightened to take on whatever came their way next.

Gods, he loved this woman with all his heart.

"It just came to me ..." Gulping hard, he tried to keep his hope in check but it was a futile attempt. It flared up hot and bright in his heart. "What if Milah isn't the only one who didn't move on? What if … what if Liam is here, too?"

Emma furrowed her brows for a moment and tilted her head in thought, but then her mouth curled up into a huge grin and she said, "Then we'll find him and help him cross over."


	5. 5x15 - The Brother Jones

**5x15 – The Brother Jones**

"You sure you wanna come home with me?"

Killian flinched inwardly upon hearing the question, angry with himself for causing that uncertainty and he tilted his head to press a kiss on her forehead.

"Aye, I am."

He pulled her even closer until she was sitting on his lap and he could wrap both his arms firmly around her; he didn't want her to get up anytime soon. They deserved to have a few quite moments before going back to figuring out a plan to defeat Hades.

"I'm so sorry, love."

Her fingers tightened around the lapels of his jacket as she leaned her head against his shoulder and buried her face in his neck. He could feel her trembling slightly, and he cursed himself for putting her through all of this.

But he had wavered, just for a few hours, he had really wavered.

All his life he'd tried to be a man the people he loved could be proud of, but time and time again he'd failed and in the end he truly believed he didn't deserve to have a happy life, that the moment he was happy someone was taken away from him. First Liam, then Milah. A part of him had feared that the same might happen with Emma, that when he went home with her he would lose her, too.

"I was scared," he whispered into her hair. "Scared that I might lose you, too. That being with me dooms you to an early death. I …" He let out a shuddering breath, still shaken by the fact that he'd almost made the wrong decision. "I can't live without you, Swan."

"And you thought I can live without _you_?" she asked with a quivering voice, a lonely tear trailing down her cheek, his heart squeezing in his chest because he was the cause of her sorrows. He'd made her question herself, he'd made her believe that their love wasn't strong enough.

"But nonetheless you let me go."

"Because you were right," she said softly, her fingers playing with his jacket, not meeting his eyes as she continued, "I took your right to decide over your own future away from you." When she looked up at him her eyes were shimmering with unshed tears, and he wanted to lean down and kiss her until she forgot everything about the last few hours and just melted into his arms. But he knew she needed to get it off her chest, so he just looked at her, hoping to convey that he understood where she was coming from, and after a few seconds she added, "This time I wanted to let you make that decision. And if it had meant that you chose the afterlife over a life with me … I would have accepted it. Because it'd be what you wanted."

"I want _you_ , Emma," he told her with a firm voice, lifting his hand to cup her face, holding her gaze. "I've always wanted you. From the moment I met you. The fierce lass that climbed a beanstalk with me to steal a compass from a giant." She rolled her eyes at him and he let his hand drop to her thigh before he sighed dramatically and said, "And I still wanted you, even after you've chained me to a wall and left me with said giant."

"He didn't do you any harm," she huffed, a smirk tugging at the corner of her mouth, the sight making him grin.

"So not the point here, love."

"Maybe I'm really into _it_ ," she replied, popping the t and he couldn't help himself, he laughed out loud, his heart suddenly feeling so much lighter.

"When this is all over ..." he trailed off, slipping his hand under her shirt and skimming his fingers over her skin, relishing in the goosebumps that popped up all over her skin and the shiver that ran through her body. "We're gonna find out how much you are into _it_."

She leaned back with a mischievous grin on her face and that gleam back in her eyes he hadn't seen for weeks. Not to mention that sultry tone in her voice when she asked, "Promise?"

Now he was the one whose body trembled against hers and he suppressed a groan when she shifted in his lap and made contact with a certain appendage that had raised its head, literally, the moment they started talking about handcuffs.

"Oh yeah," he growled, tightening his grip around her waist. "We're so gonna find out."

And then he leaned down and pressed his lips on hers and kissed her like his life depended on it. If they hadn't been in the Underworld, he didn't know where the kiss might have ended. Probably in the bed or on some other horizontal surface and as long as they were both naked he wouldn't really care.

But duty called and he released her lips reluctantly. "Let's get this over with, shall we?"

"Aye, aye Captain," she replied as she jumped to her feet and his heart was filled with so much love for her that he feared it might burst with happiness any moment. "Let's catch the bad guy and go home."


	6. 5x20 - Firebird

**5x20 - Firebird**

He was determined to keep his promise, he would move on. Just not yet. He'd wait until the sun went down and then he would go up. He'd make sure that they made it back home, that Emma didn't change her mind at the last moment and stayed.

He knew her, and though she did climb into the elevator and let him go this time it didn't mean she really went through the portal. He just needed to make sure that she didn't stay back. Her life wasn't over yet. She had so much to live for. He only hoped she kept her promise, too. He hoped her armor would stay down. He even hoped that one day she would find someone who could make her happy.

His knees gave out under him and he crumpled to the ground, his heart beating painfully in his chest. They were True Love. How were they supposed to live without each other? How could he move on without her by her side? How could he have asked her to leave him here and go back?

But Emma was one of the strongest women he'd ever met. He knew she would make it. He knew she would move on, no matter how hard it would be.

His mouth quivered with a smile as he imagined her straightening her shoulders, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears as she jumped through the portal to get back to Storybrooke. She might be a stubborn lass, but she would keep the promise she'd given him.

And he would fulfill his promise, too. He would move on. In a few hours he would go to the bridge and cross over.

But not just yet.

-x-

It hurt. So much that every breath she took felt as if her chest would collapse.

He was gone. Forever.

She would never see his smile again, she would never hear his voice again, would never hear him call her love again in that lilting voice that always managed to make her feel loved. She would never be able to tell him how much she loved him without their lives being in danger. She would never feel his arms around her again, would never feel the brush of his lips against her forehead.

She would never see him again.

She forced herself to keep breathing, to draw air into her lungs and push it out despite the excruciating pain that filled her chest. She'd made him a promise. She promised him she wouldn't put up her armor again. But it was so damn hard to leave it down, to not grab it and pull it tight around her shoulders, to hide back behind her walls.

She lost her True Love.

Her fingers curled around the ring, the only physical thing she had left of him now. Pressing her eyes shut, she tried to stop the tears, tried to stop crying. But it didn't help. The tears were just coming and coming. She slid down to the ground, pulled her legs up and laid her head on her knees, letting herself break down completely.

She would give herself one night. One night of mourning without trying to hold herself together. One night in which she would let herself feel the loss with every fiber of her being. Just this one night. And then she would stand up and keep going. Though she had no idea right now how. How she could live her life without him by her side. A life without her armor keeping her together.

But she'd promised. And she would keep her promise. Even if her heart would never truly heal again.


End file.
